A Poem to my girls

Becoming your mother is something that I chose,
A need to grow our family arose.





Your past and your family I know nothing about,
But our love for you, I hope you never doubt.





Not a day will go by that I don't make a mistake,
But trusting me is a risk I hope you take.





The pain that you hold so close to your heart,
Give it to me, so you can have a fresh start.





Not that I want you to forget the past,
Because those memories, I know they should last.





So you can remember the mother from which you came,
Without her none of our lives would be the same.



There will be tears, fun times, and laughter we share,
Our life without you, just would not compare.



So let us begin our life's next adventurous ride,
No better place to start than by each others side.
To : Polita and Nthabeleng
Love...Mom

Pictures of cute kids

N playing with her friend R

E lost an eating contest, so P made him read a princess and unicorn book to her. She thought that was super funny

Coloring Easter eggs for the first time together as a sibling set of 5. They shared pretty well.

P was very confused about the concept of hidden candy and a few small toys. 

Daddy is good at hiding candy :)

Yeah, a coloring book with her name on it!

N wanted to see the rainbow so E decided to help her out, then turned around so I could get their picture.

Life is a little loud, chaotic, and tiring at times, but it is also rich with moments of love, laughter and first time experiences. We enjoyed our first Easter together and look forward to making many more wonderful memories together in the future. We are so blessed!

Worried Look

Today I was in the office when a reunification happened. Two beautiful little girls going home to be with their father and siblings. I happen to look up and see one of our staff looking worried and later asked him about his worried look. He expressed his concerns about the children's future, and the father's ability to care for them properly. His thoughts and feelings matched those I have often felt in the past, and I was thankful to hear his perspective today.
This is proof once more that we are a village caring for these children. The house mothers work very hard to take care of the kids needs, but the office staff, cleaning staff, maintenance staff and driver all care deeply for the well being of these children as well. They enjoy watching them grow and playing with them during tea break or lunch break. They have a heart to care for kids and see them move into a family situation that will be best for the child, and it breaks their hearts to see situations where that might not happen. We all have to trust God's plan and both he and I agree that God knows what is best, but it doesn't always immediately ease our discomfort in these hard moments.
Today I will be praying for these little girls, but I will also be praying for our staff whose hearts are so big and loving. I am so thankful that God has placed so many good people here at Beautiful Gate.

Unexpected sadness

On Friday night Bryan read a facebook post from one of my cousins. My uncle had been sick for a week and in the hospital (unfortunately I did not know this because I am not on facebook much these days) and he passed away. My heart felt such sadness at not having had the chance to say good-bye, but I also know it would not have made a difference if I was home because he lives in a different state than we do so I wouldn't have had a chance to see him most likely. I have some really great memories of my uncle. He always welcomed my family with open arms when we would come for a visit. My uncle made room for us and made sure we always knew we were welcome, even after my aunt passed away and it was only my uncle and cousin living in the house. My uncle had diabetes and was not supposed to have much sugar, but I remember those amazing peanut butter pies he used to make whenever we visited :) Such a wonderful man and I thank God that he can be reunited with his wife and even my sister, up in heaven. He wrote a farewell facebook status telling everyone good-bye and that he loved us all, but I only saw it after he was gone so I want to say...



Good-bye Uncle Boyd and thank you for many wonderful years of love and friendship. Thank you for making me feel important and special even though I was young. Thank you for being someone safe I could talk to and for making me laugh. I love you so much and I am so glad you are in a better and happier place.

This is one of the pictures Uncle Boyd took of my family a LONG time ago :) I am on the bottom right.

Back to Work

Today is my first day back to work at Beautiful Gate. We decided to wait a month to let the girls settle in and now I will be working on Thursdays. I left the house with a couple of really sad girls because they did not think daddy would be a good teacher. Well, daddy proved them wrong and from the messages I got from Bryan, they had quite a bit of fun doing school. Maybe I will be here more than once a week because he did too good of a job, I think they might fire me! :)
I managed to go to Beautiful Gardens in order to assess a project I have been assigned and then to the garden center to make an estimate for my project. I am feeling pretty accomplished for my first day back and it is only noon, hahaha. My day so far has felt very strange. At home, life is very non stop and someone is always needing some of my time, but today I am sitting completely alone in my office. That is not typical for BG, but pretty much all of our staff and office volunteers have been out on field assignments today. I will enjoy my little respite of peace and quiet for the short time it will last, hahaha.
School is going well for E,F and M, and homeschooling has also been going well for P and N. We have been blessed with the addition of another teacher for the missionary school next year, and we are now working out some details of whether I will be able to be a teacher there as well, so I can again be involved in teaching all of my kids instead of 2 separate schools. Then Bryan will be helping at the school one day a week too which would be a huge blessing for the boys at the missionary school. Currently, all the teachers and most of the students are girls!!! :) Please pray about this as it would be a huge blessing, but there are still details needing to be worked out. Polita and Nthabeleng would very much like to go to school with their siblings which is very sweet. Ok, enough blogging and back to work!

Adoption ceremony

After a few postponements, we had our adoption ceremony on Tuesday morning. We brought the girls to Beautiful Gate for the first time since they joined our family, and it was interesting to see their reaction. They have really come out of their shells and begun talking English at home and they are pretty talkative. Once we got on campus, they got completely quiet and clung to my hands. They did not smile, laugh, talk or do anything but cling to me. The night before, I tried to explain what the ceremony was going to be like in order to prepare them, but I don't think they understood. They were scared. I have seen this response so many times in the past with other adoptive families so I cannot really say it caught me off guard, I just felt sad for them.
Our ceremony was great. Lots of singing, a few speeches, several jokes (from volunteers and staff since it was weird to do our roles for us as directors), a few tears, but mostly it was lighthearted. The girls cried when they had to go to their house mother and hear her words of good-bye. She also made it light hearted because she said she was happy they were going to our family since we have already adopted her into our family too. It was a very special day and we have some really great pictures from Grace, so we will always be able to look back and remember this great day.
At the end of the ceremony, the girls were way more relaxed and even began to smile a little and talk to a few people. They seemed to be relieved when the staff started heading back to their houses, but they were able to stay with us. They even played around with us a little in the chapel and became their normal selves again. What a big and scary day for them, but it all turned out nicely in the end. Elijah, Faith and Mercy also had a good time, a little bored during the speeches, but that is pretty normal. It was fun to see their relief too at having the final step in our adoption finished. It feels good to be finished with everything so we can just be a family. One month in and we are doing great. English is coming along, sibling friendships are forming, house rules are being learned, fun is happening, love is growing, and much, much more. There are some definite growing pains, but that is also to be expected. We have finished our month of cocooning and will begin slowly introducing Polita and Nthabeleng to our friends.

Yes, believe it or not, I even gave a speech!

Us with their house mother, Mme Judith.

Us with Terp and Tyler who did our roles in the ceremony.

Not a perfect family picture, but at least this time they don't look scared to death :)

Becoming family

My new schedule involves waking up sometime between 5:45 and 6:30am and I am pretty much crashing at 9pm. I feel like I have a new born again :) There have been some pretty amazing moments this week like when N wanted to go out and give daddy a hug when he got home from work, but then she chickened out when we got to him. The thought counted. We have a nightly routine that we have done since E was born and it has been so nice to get the girls involved in our routine. We read a bible story, pray and then we give a blessing over the kids. There is a part in the blessing where E,F, and M say a part and P and N have started saying it too. So awesome!!!! 2 nights ago when I tucked P and N into bed, they both initiated a hug and a kiss and then surprised me by saying they loved me. Wow, that is a pretty awesome thing to hear your daughters say.
Our journey has also been a bit rough this past week with some very unexpected issues. There are moments where as a parent, you really need to rely on God's wisdom and strength as you blend your family into one unit. But, I have found that there are far more moments where I just feel so blessed and thankful that I get to walk this journey. I have begun to really have feeling of complete love as I look at my sweet little girls, and they really are beginning to feel like they have always been a part of our family. I love the way God can mold and make families fit together and be close through His grace. It does not mean there won't be "growing pains" on both sides as we figure each other out, but it means that we will all be in this together loving and supporting each other as we live life together. I couldn't think of 6 other people I would love walking through life with than the ones God has blessed me with. I may be tired and a little scatter brained at times, but it is worth it :)