We will be driving from Chicago to Battlecreek in 2 weeks!!!! Wow it is coming up very quickly. We have a friend here from our church and we have a friend from England here with a team and our days are FLYING by right now. I keep thinking that I will get some packing and organizing of the house done, but.....well there is always next week when they are all gone :) If you see us walking around West Michigan improperly dressed for the weather it could be for 2 reasons. 1- I never got us packed cause we were too busy or 2- my kids have been living in Africa for 5 years and outgrew their winter gear ages ago. Well, technically, both might be true :)
That being said, if you are living in West Michigan and have any old snow pants that your kids will not be using this year and you have yet to donate them to a charity, I wonder if we could borrow them for the winter and then donate them on your behalf in January (or return them if you need to keep them for a younger child). Please email me if you would be willing to let us use snow pants sizes 8-10 for Mercy, 10-12 for Faith and 12-14 for Elijah. I do not know what those sized equate to in S,M, or L cause we buy by age in Lesotho :) bageurink@hotmail.com. We also do not really want to buy thick gloves if we do not need to as they are no use here in Lesotho, so if you have warm gloves we can use, those would be a great help too!!!
I hope I have not scared you all away with the emotional rollercoaster that has been my life for the past 2 months. I am realizing that I do not necessarily handle big transitions well. Moving and then planning furlough on top of a few other things happening in my life, has left me feeling a little emotionally exposed. I will try to pull myself together so that we can really have a great 9 weeks home in West Michigan though! Hope to see many of you soon.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Anguished Heart
It is so heartbreaking to begin the actual discussions about our transition to not being the directors. We had a real heart to heart with our management team about the qualities they are looking for in their new director/s. Before they really began to share their thoughts, they first expressed their gratitude to have us, and their desire to have us reconsider and stay longer. It was a real blessing to hear them say that, but at the same time, it made me very sad. None of us really want to leave here in 2 years, but we know that we are not being called to stay longer than that. We have felt from God that it will be time for us to go back to America in 2017. We are all stuck in the crazy experience that all missionaries find themselves in, we have more than one home. If I am already a mess just thinking about having to leave in 2 years, then I cannot imagine the distress and anguish we will feel when that day comes.
What it boils down to is that I feel I am abandoning my friends. I am disappointing and hurting people by being here, and I will disappoint, hurt, and break the hearts of many when I leave here. Our staff and the BG kids have learned to trust us, and that is huge. They have made themselves vulnerable and shared their lives with us, and we are walking away from that trust.
We are going to be leaving on a 9 week furlough on November 11th. Maybe it will give us some down time to think and restore our emotions, but knowing that it is time to begin the search to replace ourselves is a lot more emotional than I had thought.
Please pray with us that we as a care center will seek the Lord's will in the new directors, who will be chosen by the BGL board. Please pray that BG will be even greater in the years to come than it is now. Please pray with us that we will always do what is best in the sight of the Lord, and that we will trust Him to heal the hearts of our many friends and family around the world.
What it boils down to is that I feel I am abandoning my friends. I am disappointing and hurting people by being here, and I will disappoint, hurt, and break the hearts of many when I leave here. Our staff and the BG kids have learned to trust us, and that is huge. They have made themselves vulnerable and shared their lives with us, and we are walking away from that trust.
We are going to be leaving on a 9 week furlough on November 11th. Maybe it will give us some down time to think and restore our emotions, but knowing that it is time to begin the search to replace ourselves is a lot more emotional than I had thought.
Please pray with us that we as a care center will seek the Lord's will in the new directors, who will be chosen by the BGL board. Please pray that BG will be even greater in the years to come than it is now. Please pray with us that we will always do what is best in the sight of the Lord, and that we will trust Him to heal the hearts of our many friends and family around the world.
Monday, October 5, 2015
Used and disappointed
Living in a third world country with a first world upbringing can really be damaging, not only to myself but also for those around me. I have been really struggling with something since Thursday and I am not even sure how to put words to my thoughts.
For those of you who have followed my blog over the years, you have all met and heard about Lucky, the orphan boy who used to "work" for us. He has been living with an uncle for the last couple years, and he visits us about once or twice a year. This year, he came in late January to ask me to sponsor him and help pay for his high school fees, books and uniform. Bryan and I decided that this was something we could do for him since education is very important to us.
Then he showed up last week cause it was spring break, and he had a whole list of wants; new shoes, soccer shoes, a soccer ball, more school books, food, money to start his own business, etc etc. He has always been one to shoot for the moon, so having him ask for things is not new, but something felt different this time. Gone was the gracious and thankful boy I used to know, and here was a demanding and expectant boy. Where did I go wrong in helping him that caused it to change? We certainly could not get all his requests especially when he wanted name brand shoes that I wouldn't even buy my own kids or myself. After getting affordable and sensible shoes, a ball and some food, he did not thank me, he asked for coloring books and crayons for his nephew.
I changed from his friend to the person who gives him things when he needs them. I know that I did this to myself somehow, but I am not sure what I should have done differently along the way so we could stay friends. He was no longer interested in me or my kids, but it was all in what he could get from me.
I feel used and ashamed that I did not teach him better. He is a good boy and I want him to grow up with gratitude for the help he was given, and not with an air of expectancy when he meets white people. I am really disappointed in how things turned out and aim to try to explain myself to him the next time he visits. Please pray for me to have wisdom in hopes of undoing what I unintentionally did to this friendship. Please also pray for him to realize the gifts he has been given in life, and to show gratitude to everyone he comes across in his life.
For those of you who have followed my blog over the years, you have all met and heard about Lucky, the orphan boy who used to "work" for us. He has been living with an uncle for the last couple years, and he visits us about once or twice a year. This year, he came in late January to ask me to sponsor him and help pay for his high school fees, books and uniform. Bryan and I decided that this was something we could do for him since education is very important to us.
Then he showed up last week cause it was spring break, and he had a whole list of wants; new shoes, soccer shoes, a soccer ball, more school books, food, money to start his own business, etc etc. He has always been one to shoot for the moon, so having him ask for things is not new, but something felt different this time. Gone was the gracious and thankful boy I used to know, and here was a demanding and expectant boy. Where did I go wrong in helping him that caused it to change? We certainly could not get all his requests especially when he wanted name brand shoes that I wouldn't even buy my own kids or myself. After getting affordable and sensible shoes, a ball and some food, he did not thank me, he asked for coloring books and crayons for his nephew.
I changed from his friend to the person who gives him things when he needs them. I know that I did this to myself somehow, but I am not sure what I should have done differently along the way so we could stay friends. He was no longer interested in me or my kids, but it was all in what he could get from me.
I feel used and ashamed that I did not teach him better. He is a good boy and I want him to grow up with gratitude for the help he was given, and not with an air of expectancy when he meets white people. I am really disappointed in how things turned out and aim to try to explain myself to him the next time he visits. Please pray for me to have wisdom in hopes of undoing what I unintentionally did to this friendship. Please also pray for him to realize the gifts he has been given in life, and to show gratitude to everyone he comes across in his life.
Monday, September 28, 2015
Spring Break
Spring break is here for our preschool kids. They were able to spend the day running all over playgroup and having a great time. I am realizing that I am more drawn to preschoolers because I seem to wander over to playgroup more often when they are home from school. When my days here are done, I think I may need to find a preschool to work at!
I took a little 4 year old to the library for a half hour today, and really enjoyed some one on one time. We read a lot of books. I had to laugh because there is a big stuffed bear in the library so I had a child and a big bear on my lap while reading books. It was good that she turned the pages because I could not fit my arm all the way around her and the bear. I am super thankful for the library because it is nice to single out a child and share a love for books together. Our books are able to last longer and be in better shape since they are no longer in the baby rooms where they used to be eaten or ripped.
Upon coming back to playgroup, I had a good laugh as Grace (our long term volunteer and friend) was surrounded by about 6 kids who were "braiding" her hair. One child was really good at braiding, one was making a super cool twist that will take some serious work to get out and a few others made some nice knots. As I watched the older girl braiding Grace's hair, I began to wonder about her life before BG. Was her mom a hair stylist who taught her daughter to braid or did she learn to braid other kids hair while in her village? She was already 5 when she came to BG so she has a lot more history than most of our kids. Sometimes she is happy and playing with the other kids and other times she is quiet and lost in thought. I do not know what her experience has been, but today when I took a picture of her braiding Grace's hair, I saw a beautiful smile on her face and a look of pride. I love when we see that spark in a kid's eyes that shows their happiness.
I took a little 4 year old to the library for a half hour today, and really enjoyed some one on one time. We read a lot of books. I had to laugh because there is a big stuffed bear in the library so I had a child and a big bear on my lap while reading books. It was good that she turned the pages because I could not fit my arm all the way around her and the bear. I am super thankful for the library because it is nice to single out a child and share a love for books together. Our books are able to last longer and be in better shape since they are no longer in the baby rooms where they used to be eaten or ripped.
Upon coming back to playgroup, I had a good laugh as Grace (our long term volunteer and friend) was surrounded by about 6 kids who were "braiding" her hair. One child was really good at braiding, one was making a super cool twist that will take some serious work to get out and a few others made some nice knots. As I watched the older girl braiding Grace's hair, I began to wonder about her life before BG. Was her mom a hair stylist who taught her daughter to braid or did she learn to braid other kids hair while in her village? She was already 5 when she came to BG so she has a lot more history than most of our kids. Sometimes she is happy and playing with the other kids and other times she is quiet and lost in thought. I do not know what her experience has been, but today when I took a picture of her braiding Grace's hair, I saw a beautiful smile on her face and a look of pride. I love when we see that spark in a kid's eyes that shows their happiness.
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Control
It is funny that after 38 years on this earth, I am still crazy enough to think that I can have some amount of control in life. This past week was a big example of that for me. There were 3 situations that happened that threatened the safe and predictable control that I still like to imagine I have in life. I know that I have alluded to that before, and apparently I am not a quick learner because here I sit struggling again. If only I could learn this lesson quicker, then I would not have to face it again and again!
I am trying to keep my spirits up while I process each situation, but I am feeling super emotional and weak right now. None of them are a huge deal on their own, I think it is just the layering of things. If you have a moment to say a prayer, I would appreciate it. Like I said, none of them are earth shattering, I just feel tired. God is bigger than my problems, and He will work all the details out, but I am seeking His wisdom and timing.
Monday, September 21, 2015
Babysitting and Visitors
We had a fun and busy weekend. I watched my friend Mari's son and was reminded of what life with an almost 2 year old is like. He was full of energy and we explored all sorts of things in the house and in the yard. Bryan and I did some yard clean up in our new yard, and he helped by splashing wholeheartedly in our water runoff :) We got a picture and video so we could show off some child labor laws which I am sure we violated by "making" him be our helper. I am thankful that we had some fun with him and his mom could enjoy a nice birthday spa!
About 40 minutes after he left, we welcomed our friends from the Netherlands, the Meijer family. They are in Lesotho adopting a beautiful little boy. He is not from Beautiful Gate (I am so thankful that other care facilities are getting paperwork completed for adoptions too). They had dinner with us and we had a very nice conversation while their 2 children played with my 3 children. Between our kids, there were 3 different languages and they could not communicate with each other, but it did not matter. Legos, toy cars, and coloring books speak their own language of FUN, and that is enough for kids. I am thankful for my friends around the world, and I am thankful that their long 5 year wait is finished. They are a beautiful and happy family. Today they will be visiting Beautiful Gate for the first time before they leave later this week. I am feeling very thankful once again for adoptions!!!!
About 40 minutes after he left, we welcomed our friends from the Netherlands, the Meijer family. They are in Lesotho adopting a beautiful little boy. He is not from Beautiful Gate (I am so thankful that other care facilities are getting paperwork completed for adoptions too). They had dinner with us and we had a very nice conversation while their 2 children played with my 3 children. Between our kids, there were 3 different languages and they could not communicate with each other, but it did not matter. Legos, toy cars, and coloring books speak their own language of FUN, and that is enough for kids. I am thankful for my friends around the world, and I am thankful that their long 5 year wait is finished. They are a beautiful and happy family. Today they will be visiting Beautiful Gate for the first time before they leave later this week. I am feeling very thankful once again for adoptions!!!!
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Donation Information Update - changed Sept. 17
Our financial information has
changed. PLEASE take note
of the NEW ADDRESS before sending financial support.
|
New address: AFBGI Ministries
Geurink Fund
100 Pine Street
Suite 107
Zeeland, Michigan 49464
Attn: Vern Meyaard
It is still the same Non-profit ministry, but
due to donation guidelines in different states, it will work better for our
funds to be deposited in Michigan. We thank you for your faithful support which
has allowed us to serve Beautiful Gate for almost 5 years!
Our paypal button is still working and is another option for giving (thanks Michael for the good question).
Our paypal button is still working and is another option for giving (thanks Michael for the good question).
I just sent out my latest newsletter with this big address change and thought it may be best if I posted it on my blog too. (Thanks Lori for the reminder) If any of you get my quarterly family newsletters and have moved in the past year or are no longer getting my newsletters, please email me your mailing address. If you are interested in receiving our family newsletter by mail and are not on our list, please email me your address as well. If you would like to stop receiving our family newsletter, please email me and let me know and with a small donation of $10,000, we will remove your name (couldn't resist a little sarcasm cause this was getting too formal of a blog post).Our email is bageurink@hotmail.com.
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