Empathy

I feel sick. I am beginning to think that God has given me a thorn in my side here in Africa and it is my empathy. When I see a person hurting or here a sad story, it just makes me emotionally and physically upset. I am so bothered by something that was shared with me today and I need to write it down. This blog has turned into our journal so it seems the best place for me to share my thoughts.

We have a woman (I don’t feel right saying her name so I’ll leave it anonymous) who has agreed to help us clean our house and help us prepare food for the 16 guests we have staying with us for the next 2 ½ weeks. I was asking her a little about where she lives and her family when she showed me a picture and shared with me the story of her granddaughter.

When her granddaughter was one month old, her mother began to beat her. She would scream for the baby to shut up and stop crying. When the baby cried because she wanted to eat or needed a fresh diaper, the mother would beat her. She beat her so badly that the girl ( who is now 20) can not speak at all. She cannot walk and has to crawl to get places. The mother died from AIDS and left this child with the child's grandmother. At this point in the story she pulled out her granddaughter’s picture. The girl is standing on her knees and has one arm turned in at an unnatural angle. But, she is smiling and she is beautiful.

Then the woman tells me that she used to work at a hospital teaching people about AIDS prevention and would leave her granddaughter in the care of some of her family members. When she returned home from work, her granddaughter had blood in her urine and would whimper every time she was touched. Upon further investigation, she realized that her family was beating the child. The woman then began to cry (and so did I)and I put my arm around her as she cried. Once she regained control, she told me that this granddaughter will be in her care until the day she dies (I believe she quit working so she could look after her full time). I told her that I was so sorry that things have turned out so sad for her granddaughter and she got a brave look in her face and said, that is just the way life is here. She then pulled out a picture of one of her daughter and told me that she was murdered by her husband almost 2 years ago, so she is raising 5 grandchildren now.

This poor woman is leaving her house at 5am to get here by 8am so she can earn some money to help her children and grandchildren. And it sounds like she is scared while she is away that something bad will happen to her granddaughter (she will be gone 12 hours, 3 days a week;6 hours spent in transportation and 6 hours of work). I am thankful that she felt comfortable enough to share her burdens with me the first day we met, but it makes me feel sick to my stomach thinking of all that young girl has suffered through. I feel such empathy for her that I literally feel sick. I had a hard time going about the rest of my day because my mind continued to dwell on her story. Will you pray with me that her grandchildren are protected by God and his angels as she is away from them and that God will show grace to me by giving me the wisdom and the words to bring her encouragement and support while she is here with us these next few weeks.