I don't even know where to start...in some ways I feel numb, but if I were numb, I wouldn't hurt so much. I am in so much emotional pain that I feel like I could vomit at any minute. One of our dear, precious baby girls (here at Beautiful Gate) passed away today, very unexpectedly. She is only a couple months old and was healthy and thriving with no indication of sickness, and now she is gone. Oh, how it hurts. I was just there holding her earlier this week and it doesn't seem real. I was so shocked when I heard of her passing that I went to see her for myself because I just couldn't believe it. There she was wrapped up carefully in a few blankets, but no breath.
I hurt too much to even ask God why.
I hurt so much that my tears are just sitting in my eyes ready to roll down, but they seem stuck.
I want to run away and just sit on a mountain alone.
I thought my heart hurt enough when I found out the boys we love as our own would be leaving this week, but now on the eve of my 35th birthday...I am being forced to say good-bye to a precious girl who never got to see her first.
Anita
Brian and Anita; want you to know that you are being prayed for and especially at this time.
ReplyDeleteBetty Kroll
I'm so very sorry. No words. We will be praying for God's peace and hope to fill you.
ReplyDeleteLots of love & hugs to you all! The Sluiters
I read your blog after I messaged you. So sorry for the emotional low that you are stuck in right now. We will pray for your family. Jana Z.
ReplyDeletepraying for you.....may the God of all peace surround you with His strength and comfort. Lauren Eisnor
ReplyDeleteAnita, this is exactly why God called you to Africa. To witness and be His presence in a fallen world. You were the arms of God for that girl. What an honor, but the emotional cost is high. God knows you are not strong enough to endure it alone. Turn to Him and claim His peace that passes understanding. Never forget that you are amazing, and are doing all things through him who strengthens you.
ReplyDelete"Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows..the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed:" Isaiah 53:4,5
Dear Anita and family,
ReplyDeleteI'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I am praying for you. You are feeling such sorrow partly because you were there to give that precious girl love that she would not have known, otherwise. Praying for comfort and peace for you all.
There is no greater love than parents for children and children for parents except for God but don't condemn God at all like so many people do Just know that you loved her and she loved you too in her little ways.
ReplyDeletewe are praying for you and your family as you go through this deep valley.we do not know why these things happen,but we know that through the storms of life HE IS RIGHT THERE WITH YOU--HE WILL NEVER LET GO OF YOU!praying that you will somehow feel his peace as only He can give.thinking of you every day.love and prayers. vern and dianne
ReplyDeleteGod KNOWS your grief and pain, and FEELS your grief and pain too. May YOU be able to FEEL His loving arms around you, even as He is also holding this precious baby girl in His arms. You were Jesus to her, and you continue to be Jesus to all the other children and care workers. May God bless you all in this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteRon and Joni Brookens
My heart breaks for you and for the staff. We will keep you all in our prayers. This is such a diffilcult time but you know you have comfort in the Lord!
ReplyDeleteMay God Bless you all.
Mary, Rick & Rachel