I guess being away from Lesotho for a few months took down a bit of a protective wall I had placed around my heart and mind. Since my return, I find myself just wanted to be alone and to think through some verses that have really been on my mind. I am struggling with them and mulling them around in my head each day and rather than coming up with the answer, I just feel more and more confused as to what should be my next step.
Luke 14:25-33
25 Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. 27 And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. 28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it— 29 lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’? 31 Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace. 33 So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.
What does this mean for me and my family? How much do I love God and want to be a disciple of Jesus? Am I really, really willing to give up EVERYTHING?
James 2:15-17
15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
What about the children who walk past me barefoot everyday? What about the kids in my community who go to bed hungry each night and I have food that occasionally goes bad and I throw it away!? I know I am helping to care for the kids on BG's campus, but there is much more that needs to be done right outside my gate.
James 4:17
17 Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.
I need to love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength and love my neighbor as myself. I love my kids and would do everything in my power to keep them from being barefoot and half starved so shouldn't I do the same for my neighbors? Wow, my mind is just spinning everyday, but I know that God knows my thoughts and will guide me to the right answers.
Thank you for these words, Anita. They're so valuable to hear. I've just prayed that God would continue to guide you and that you would accurately discern his call on your life and make clear what your next steps might be.
ReplyDeleteOne caution. Do you remember when Moses led God's people out of Egypt, and then came before Him complaining that he could not carry the full burden of these people? God appointed 70 elders of the tribes to help him. I was initially going to say don't try to save everyone, but you know, actually, go ahead and do that if you want. The need is there, so why not? Just don't try to save everyone ALONE. I don't know if this is a word from God or not, but perhaps pray about assembling a team to work on the things God is laying on your heart?
Yes, we need to follow what He says....all of what He says. Praying for wisdom and open doors....He will lead the way to obedience. :)
ReplyDeleteKaren B
You and Brian have been on our hearts and in our prayers a lot lately. We will continue to lift you up and trust in God that he will give you wisdom and strength in all you do.
ReplyDeleteTery & Tam