Wednesday, July 5, 2017

A Time for Everything

I feel such sadness right now. I am really trying to process that my dear friend is really gone, and it is just sad. I have lectured myself a hundred times that she is in a better place so I should feel happy for her, but whenever I see a picture of her, I just cry. I know that this is just how I process things and everything will be fine.

It was her time to die, and it is my time to mourn.

I have a month with Elijah before he will be moving to MI and it is getting more and more real everyday. He poured his heart out to me the other day and it was just so heartbreaking. He is struggling with some very hard, but very real things. I can't imagine having this kind of conversation over Skype and it is just hard to let go of that closeness. I know that I can't hold on to him or any of his sisters forever, but it is just hard.

It is his time to uproot from Africa and start a new chapter in America and it is my time to weep.

I have begun to talk with Bryan and with others about moving away from Lesotho in less than a year, and I cannot even begin to imagine what that is going to be like. I can't even let my mind go there or my eyes flood with tears. To be torn between being back with those I love in the states, yet leaving those I love here. It is too much to process, so I will chose not to process this one yet...

I do not question or doubt God's plan because He is my Father and He loves me so much. He has seen how everything will play out and I trust Him. I just feel a very deep sense of sadness, but I know that in time, this will be healed.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8New International Version (NIV)

A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:
    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

3 comments:

  1. My heart hurts for you and with you sister...xxx

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  2. How did I know?
    And on top of it all you will have this strange new person moving into your house.
    My prayers are with you.
    I too am struggling with all the changes going on. I miss my dad more each day. Packing/purging my life to go into this new season where I truly hope less is more. The reality of leaving my kids and all my family and friends is starting to hit -tears flow at a moments notice yet.... the adventures and new things that The Lord wants to show my kids and myself fill us with so much anticipation.
    So I get it. Different and yet the same.
    Enjoy each moment - no other moment will e like this one. =)

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  3. Oh sweet Anita, I am sorry you are going through so much sadness right now. It is a lot to handle and I praise God that you are honest with your feelings and that you know and trust Him in His sovereignty through it all. Prayers for you my friend.
    Karen B

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