Fear

I came face to face with a 6 year old's fear and it caught me off guard, but it should not have. If from the time you were 3, you were surrounded by orphans, your mom was not just your mom but also your teacher.  And for 3 years you prayed for a friend of your mothers who had cancer and the friend died, then I can understand why there is fear.

Bryan and I were going away for an overnight and Mercy became distraught. She was sobbing and really upset about us leaving in the morning so I pulled her into my room and lay down next to her and asked her what was really bothering her. She said, "Every time you go away, I am scared you will never come back. I think that you are going to die and leave me without a mother." Wow, that is a big fear and a reasonable one with the situations she sees everyday. Children dropped off at Beautiful Gate with no one to take care of them or love them, children without their mom.

I did not want to dismiss her fear as unfounded as I do not know the time or day of my death, only God knows. However, I did my best to explain to her that God's plan is the best plan and if He takes me home, then it is my time. There are plenty of people in our family who would care for her and not leave her an orphan at Beautiful Gate. How sad that we live in a world where children have to fear where they will go if their parents die. How sad that at the age of 6, Mercy thinks about my death and is surrounded by fear. Even at the age of 6 and even knowing how great of a place Beautiful Gate is, she knows that it is NOTHING like being a part of a loving family.

Mercy and I spent some time holding our newest little baby who came in on Friday and it was beautiful to see the love Mercy had for this little tiny baby. She did not want to let go so we could put the baby down for the night. Her fear of being in a situation without a mother has caused her to love the kids here fiercely and while I am proud of her deep unconditional love for the kids, I am sad for her heart of fear.

2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." I am praying for her to put her trust and faith in God as she works through this fear.